I can’t even tell you how excited I was when I first tumbled down the rabbit hole of CrossFit in 2010! What a ride. I wanted to share it so badly with anyone who would listen. Except for my parents. At that time, I was convinced they were the LAST people who were going to get on board this fitness train.
True story, my mom stopped on her way out of the house one time and pulled me aside: “Mauricio, all that jumping on that box is going to destroy your knees.” Then walked away *mic drop*.
They were pretty skeptical of my career change back then, so there was some inherent tension when discussing anything fitness or biz related. So, I happily went about my business without trying to persuade them, and figured they would come around in their own time (or not).
A decade later, I am happy to say that my dad is training consistently with me 1x/week, but it didn’t come to be in the way or method I expected back in 2010.
You see, parents are people, too. People with independent wants, needs, struggles, old habits, new interests, and just general complexity that comes with the accumulated years. I was so stuck in my framework of “mom is too stubborn to listen to me” or “dad just does yard work so he doesn’t see the value in working out,” that I didn’t think to just ask them more questions about what interested or motivated them. It was still about me and our history.
Time and space have helped me see that it is ok to maintain a duality of closeness to family, while essentially still providing amazing “customer service” to someone I care about. So I ask questions and have less of an agenda.
“What do you want, Dad?… Ok, why do you want it?… Great, here’s how I can help you.” “Oh not ready to start right now? That’s ok, the offer stands for if/when you are.”
I don’t push further, not just because it would be ineffective (which it would be), but because pushing is what the old me would do with my parents, but never with a client. It would be about me again.
The people we often want to help the most will test us, for sure. The basic test is this: do you care enough to persist and be patient, without judgement or taking it personally if/when they say no?
I think I wore my dad down in a good way, by persistently and patiently coming back with the same questions and the same offer, until eventually he came around to it in his own way: by asking a hundred tangential questions about health and fitness, and feeling engaged and heard enough that he was willing to take proactive steps forward, at a time when it felt relevant.
Now, that’s my analysis of it. But the simpler way of seeing it is that Dad just wants to hang out and enjoy life. So we do that by catching up on non-fitness things for an hour, casually review his food and lifestyle habits (w/o judgement), do an InBody scan when he’s interested, and fluidly move into some rowing, squats and abs, with plenty of rest intervals throughout. So that he can keep enjoying life for a long time. I make sure to have a protein shake and snack ready to “maintain the gains” while we sit and enjoy the backyard, and then on the way home he gets to stop by his favorite pastry shop.
Love is.
Coach Mauricio